My Blog List

My Blog List

My Blog List

Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal. Show all posts

Tuesday, 21 October 2014

Place Assessment

They always call me a hermit, am I? If I'm comfortable in this space between four walls that I call my bedroom. This room isn't too big but not too small, I guess I could say it's just right for a teenager like me. I would tell you the colour of my walls but honestly I've forgotten. Each wall is plastered with posters of my favourite things from: musicians to actors, movies to anime, and sometimes even You-tubers. It's always quiet in here, I can hear my own thoughts or ignore them through the beats of my music, my messy unorganized walls tell a lot about me, with each poster it tells a story or a thought, I admire each one of them, as they hold strongly onto the wall with only small scraps of blue tack keeping them there.

My room is always dark, even with the light on, It seems what little power is keeping  the bulb alight is not enough to spread out his rays and fill my whole bedroom with life. This results in a lot of re-arranging of objects in the room to try and achieve good quality call time. Dark red curtains drape down over windows, which supply what little light does attempt to break in. in early hours of the day.
A lot of things in this room are not even mine, their things left behind after my older sisters moved out and have just been discarded under my bed or in dusty corners, unseen, unheard.  The floor is not comfortable on relaxed feet, because most of the time curious cats like to tread in litter specs all over this floor which makes little stones uncomfortable to stand on. There is a small table in the corner of this room, rounded at the sides with stick like legs. Usually I dump all my unnecessary books and paper on there, every week it’s cluttered with useless scraps no matter how many times I attempt to tidy it up a bit.

Entertaining consoles sit beside the small television, which needs to be fiddled with every time I desire to play a game. The consoles are not a sign of a spoilt child but of a grateful and careful one. I look after these consoles for what they are, not what their worth. I took them from their original home in the living room and saved them from my monstrous younger sisters: One dying Xbox, I'm always afraid of its last day before it’s claimed by the red ring of death. A PS3 that only gets attention when the feeling of anger or annoyance need to be consumed, by games instead of being let out on something softer and more fragile. The Nintendo Wii is oldest and babied a lot because of its more delicate system compared to the others.

Sturdy drawers stand in my room, one which supports the television and consoles whereas the other rocks unsteadily like a tree about to be cut down. So I only put light things such as make up and hygienic things on there, unfortunately I do not use the make up as much as my older sister would like or recommend. The small mirror above these drawers is pretty useless because of the low light which often results in eyeliner stabbing my eyeball. Although this drawer is unstable at the best of times it still holds a lot of important things unlike its brother that only hold my clothing. This drawer holds a lot of educational things that will aid me in the future.


My laptop often migrates from different locations in this room depending on where I feel like sprawling my limbs out. Cords and wires curl around the floor, twisting and turning to achieve power from the socket. There is a cabinet in my room, which sits in the shadows alone and almost hidden by the side of my bunk bed that towers over everything in the dull room. My bed is a betrayal to my country as the bed sheets display the American flag; despite all of the above there is one part of this room that is kept organized to the best of my ability. The white drawer in the side of my room, which is empty and only has one storage drawer as the rest of its hollow body is used to stack video tapes. There are books that are settled on top, all resting against one another as two marvel pop figures stop them from sliding over the edge. Above this, is a shelve that is kept the most neatest and well assorted compared to the rest of the space, stacks of favoured movies and series sit upon this shelve all sorted into different movie themes and genres. 

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

The Time In The Park.

Not fair. It's not fair. They always get to go on the big swings. I may be 8 years old but i'm no baby! They laugh victoriously as they place their black school shoes on the plastic seat, then beginning to rock themselves back and fourth to challenge air resistance in battle. They'd laugh at me saying things like "Your too small!" "You'll fall off." This is stupid. Yes, i have small, tiny hands and weak pathetic muscles but that doesn't mean my determination wont hold on for me!

I stick my tongue out at them, which is a pretty big deal in my house, i don't mean to be naughty but they really be-little me a lot and it gets under my skin. But heh, i have the slide which is a way cooler play thing then the swings if you think about it. My Nan is a kind angel, i think God sent her to us so i wouldn't end up planning world domination on my sisters, not that i have time for that anyway. Being 8 years old you have to make some hard decisions you know, sometimes Rugrats comes on the same time as Power Puff Girl, the decision is fatal!

 So, yeah my Nan is always there when my sisters egg me off, she even tires herself out by going on the slide with me, keeps me safe. The automatic nanny cushion! She also pushes me on the round-about which i can hold onto and do not fall off, even if my feet are dragging against the floor as long as my hands are securely on the cold metal bars then i'm still holding on.There's an abandoned house beside the park, Nan often says to not go in there because it's dangerous, cant be that bad or policeman Plod would of taken it down, silly Nanny.

Sunday, 28 September 2014

The Thing In The Back Garden

When you're young,
you spend a lot of time with friends.
Not me.
I preferred the company of only myself.

I'd sit in the garden for hours,
my imagination painting a whole new world just for me.
But this thing was not from my mind,
it was new and sat at the back of the garden.

Curiosity seeped through me as i timidly got closer,
it was spikey to touch but intriguing.
It didn't attack me or growl,
it just stood about taller than me swaying gently to nature's tune.

It was cute, so i asked it to dance.
Grabbing hold of its thin branches i began swaying and twirling myself,
around it like the earth around the sun.

We danced and it was so much fun,
i wanted to show him to mummy and daddy,
but his body was sealed to the ground so he could not move.

This made me very sad,
but i promised him i'd always come out and dance after nursery.
i kept this promise, well...that was until we moved house.



Second Choice

"If Danielle said no, i would have definitely asked you out." 

The burst of joy only lasted for a moment,
before his words settled deep in my heart.
It stung , a burning sensation,
that made my insides quiver with disappointment.
He'd gone inside to leave me in blind happiness,
unaware of the fact behind his words.
Or so he wouldn't have to face my saddening face,
as i dawned on the harsh honesty he'd given me.

I'd wasted my time thinking about you,
I'd wasted my time worrying about you,
I'd wasted my life caring about you.

My dream, my fantasy blew out like a dying flame,
and my reality was set in stone.
But i sucked in my sadness and stood tall,
i wont give you the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

And you know what? I'm no one's second choice!

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

My Companion. (First Draft)

My First Draft.

The sadness i felt was too deep for me to handle,
my hands shook in fear as the loneliness settled comfortably in my heart.

My best friend lay there lifeless and so empty,
he wasn't responding, why wouldn't he respond?
What had she done?

What has she done to him to make him too weak to respond to me?
I don't understand.

My mother grasped his rigid body and carried him,
i prayed God would give him back to me.

She retrieved her special box and unraveled the magic cloth,
and began wrapping it around his scorched eye.

A moment of painful silence touched my ears,
then the sound of sniffling,whimpering and crying erupted from my trembling lips.

But then my eyes widened as i felt the soft reassurance.
 and the tender existence comfort me.

I reached my tiny hands towards his fluffy coat,
pulling him close to my heart, my companion.

I wouldn't be alone.

I held the tip of his floppy ear and whispered "Stitch..your back."
Letting my tears stain his face, i knew he was happy to see me too.