My First Draft.
The sadness i felt was too deep for me to handle,
my hands shook in fear as the loneliness settled comfortably in my heart.
My best friend lay there lifeless and so empty,
he wasn't responding, why wouldn't he respond?
What had she done?
What has she done to him to make him too weak to respond to me?
I don't understand.
My mother grasped his rigid body and carried him,
i prayed God would give him back to me.
She retrieved her special box and unraveled the magic cloth,
and began wrapping it around his scorched eye.
A moment of painful silence touched my ears,
then the sound of sniffling,whimpering and crying erupted from my trembling lips.
But then my eyes widened as i felt the soft reassurance.
and the tender existence comfort me.
I reached my tiny hands towards his fluffy coat,
pulling him close to my heart, my companion.
I wouldn't be alone.
I held the tip of his floppy ear and whispered "Stitch..your back."
Letting my tears stain his face, i knew he was happy to see me too.
So loving this! Great language and very deceptive start! Keep it up :)
ReplyDeleteThank you ^^ i really appreciate that :3
Deletehaha that's ok :) I just read it again and it got my heart racing before I thought "wait a minute, this is about Stitch who's a teddy bear!"
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